Warning: Pregnancy Rant

It’s almost 2:00 a.m.  I am becoming more firmly convinced with each passing day that the last few weeks of pregnancy exist to ensure that when a woman goes into labor she welcomes it rather than dreads it.  Yes, I am whining.  While on the whole this has been the easiest pregnancy I’ve ever experienced, in the last week the combination of symptoms which have come together in one fell swoop to grace my body with their presence are threatening to defeat my nerves.  

In addition to restless leg this evening, I have this new general feeling of discomfort accompanied by an inability to breathe while lying down.  Imagine that- how could a 7-9 lbs baby cause discomfort?  (And why have I gained 55 instead of just 7-9!)  Excuse the sarcasm; I think the lack of sleep is beginning to wear on my manners.  Anyway, there is now no such thing as a “comfortable position.”  I find myself chanting, “3 more weeks, just 3 more weeks” as I rub my feet and curse my ankles, which are finally groaning under the added weight.  So much that I find it difficult to walk.  What I need for the next few weeks is a hospital-induced coma.  What good is a cantankerous mom who can’t walk, can’t sleep, and is finding it difficult to function well enough to remember to feed the animals (or in this case, hungry children)?!  

I will have mercy on the inconvenienced reader and cease to detail my myriad complaints.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll retire to the hot tub for a midnight rendezvous with the rain.  Fully clothed.  Well, maybe I’ll go find my swimsuit, but it’s tempting. 

*Rant ends; exit madwoman.