Dear Mrs. Skaggs: Signed, Un-Frozen in Hawaii

This (http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/movie-frozen-gay-homosexual-agenda.html) was a most interesting blog post.  Do I agree with her findings?  I don’t know.  I never thought of it that way.  In my opinion, it is a moot point, because my husband and I disliked the movie so vehemently that it is never making its way into our home anyway, and the songs are not allowed to be sung, listened to, or played on the piano. 

Allow me to explain my interest in the above blog post.  Woman voices her view on a hit movie.  Woman is vilified and demonized in almost 2000 comments that consisted of people from 4 groups. 

I’m not treating EVERY category, as there were a few odd-ball ones that stand alone, such as the lady who was upset that inter-racial couples can get married in the temple now, and a few who just wanted to rant against Mormonism/Christian or religion in general.

So, basically, there are Mormons who saw the gay allegory and appreciated her input, Mormons who thought she read way too much into a child’s movie (didn’t see it), and Mormons who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance.  Then there were the people of an undefined religious status or clearly not Mormon who didn’t see the gay allegory and appreciated her input(wait, were there any of those?), those who didn’t see the possible allegory and thought she needed to get a life (a different life than her current one apparently) , and those who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance. 

It is the categories of people who make this post hilarious.  Most of the commenters were absolutely sure of themselves, the majority were not only unsympathetic but crude and (what’s the word for people who attack other people’s character because they disagree with their right to a different opinion?).  It’s one of those lose-lose situations for her.

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  No Way!  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  Me too!  But you didn’t appreciate it?  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

Really?  And it’s worth the deterioration of your soul to denigrate a woman with an idea that doesn’t jive with you?  It was kind of unbelievable.  Hundreds of people sure that either the lady was or wasn’t delusional and either way she was a poor excuse for a human because of what she believed.  I guess that’s freedom of speech, but boy does freedom of speech sometimes reveal unfavorable IQ levels.  If some people can see what she’s saying, fine.  If some people can’t, okay.  The rest (comment-wise) was just a disgusting display of bullying in the name of anti-bullying or chilling out…if that’s possible.

The next post,(http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/frozen-gay-agenda-response-mormon.html#.VIloIXvSk5A), only added to the circus, but this time in her favor.  How is the saying…If one person calls you a horse, laugh at him.  If two people call you a horse, think about it.  If three people call you a horse, go buy a saddle.  Something like that.  She listed ten different links to others who had come to the same conclusion (some happy about it, some sad).  This means, in my opinion, that several hundred, if not a thousand plus people, owe Mrs. Skaggs an apology, for telling her she was delusional and reading too much into “just a story.”  Turns out, it really could be viable allegory­—as many other people saw and wrote about as well, whether intended or not, and is cause for thought and possible discussion with your children (if they watch it), as an allegory for “gay suppression”, an allegory for all circumstances in which people are “stifled” in some way (and whether that is good or bad), and above all, whether that SONG (do I have to call it a song- that used to be such a nice-sounding word!) is carrying a good or bad message. 

As you can tell, I really do not like that song.  And honestly, I tried.  I couldn’t reconcile some of the lyrics with gospel principles (no right, no wrong, no rules for me anyone?) even in context of the movie—and, my husband pointed out, the song was not always going to be seen in context.  People thought it was a great song.  Not just a “great song in the proper context.”  They don’t sing it while thinking, but really, there is a place for self-restraint, growth, God’s will instead of mine, etc.  I didn’t take to the message. 

I know, I know.  There are a great many people, many of them my friends and family, who will tell me to chill and enjoy a movie once in a while without analyzing it to death.  But, as I just talked about with one of my sisters yesterday, I see gospel principles in every-day life, in everything.  Either it works with my idea of the gospel, or it doesn’t.  Nothing, to me, is just a story.  Everything carries a message, and I want to be intentional about what messages I’m accepting.

I don't know why my husband and I took an instant dislike to the movie.  I do know why we didn't like the song.  Maybe I'm overly critical.  But if you know me very well, you will also know that there are very few newer movies I like anyway, for any variety of reasons.  My sister told me that this is my blog and I can say what I want on it.  I hope she isn't regretting that now :).

Learning to Count My Blessings

We were sick over this weekend, and I felt defeated on every front.  Not only did we not get the extra things done I would have liked for a 4 day weekend,we didn't even do Thanksgiving dinner until tonight.  From Wednesday through Saturday, I thought it was the worst Thanksgiving ever, and I was counting all the things that had gone wrong.  But when I sat down today and counted all the things that were good, they vastly outnumbered the hard things. 

My sister is going on a mission!  I was on Skype when she announced it to Mom and Dad.  It was awesome to see their faces, especially having had a conversation with them a week before about worrying and trying to find her some nice guys to date.  I said, "Whoa, I thought you were rooting for a mission, not guys right now!"  Dad said, "I don't think we've made much progress on that front."  And I just had to clamp my mouth shut.  Really tight. 

Another sister had her first baby!  I wish I was there- I love babies.  I've thought about being a doula or something occasionally, but I've never attended a birth other than my own, and I'm more than a little squeamish.  Still, I hate to miss out, and always feel like I'd like to be there helping.

On Saturday I took the children who were well enough to a birthday party.  We don't generally go to birthday parties, but I really felt like I should go to this one (which was a stressful feeling because I didn't know if I'd have any kids who were not sick!), and I was very glad we did.  Ours were the only children there for a while, and it made the little girl so happy to have other kids to play with.

We left the party early for a girl's night out I was supposed to attend.  I was upset about leaving my husband with sick children all day, and wasn't sure I should go, but he was fine, and the evening was really nice.  We decided we should do that more often and invite more friends!

Being sick is kind of miserable, but it's temporary.  The good things that happened will be much more memorable, and some are definitely more permanent. :)  We ate our Thanksgiving dinner tonight.  The kids loved it.  They pointed out all the ways we are blessed, and we had some good family time.

I took a deep breath today and sat back and watched my happy children.  They pick on each other some, but they love each other too.  I watched them play ball with the baby, delighted that he was enjoying the game.  I watched the baby take several steps at a time, happy that it was caught on camera.  He started maybe two weeks ago, but only one step and then he'd stop.  Today he really practiced.  I watched my 7 year old read a naptime story to the 2 year old, and my oldest sing him a song.  I listened to their excited chatter about the dinner, and received exuberant thanks for making a pie.  I love how they are upset if I only sing one song to them before I leave their room at night.  Little boys who love singing make me smile.  They never get tired of it, and I usually get requests for just one more. 

It was a good Thanksgiving, and I have much to be grateful for.

My Response to "Ten Things About Military Wives You Probably Don't Want to Know"

Guess what?  They already know.

http://www.merelymothers.com/2014/11/25/ten-things-military-wives-probably-dont-want-know/

I read this article this evening.   I have to say, I can't actually relate.  The only thing that I really connected with was number 7.  Now that I know it is totally normal, I will stop whining (probably) about 12 hour days and shift changes every few weeks, and sudden schedule changes that throw my day or week off completely.  And number 8--I'm beginning to feel the significance of that one...planned vacations put on hold for the 4th time, not being able to take leave because of some sort of training or random very important thing.  But mostly...I really felt like other people, single parents, people who have been TTC for a long time, some disabilities and accidents, addictions, and a whole host of other things are right up there, or a lot harder. Part of it is the line I hear all the time about how it's so tough to be a part of the military but he/she/I/we wouldn't have it any other way.  It's a choice.  Some of the other hard things in life are not choices, and a person would definitely choose to have it another way.  I really feel like being a military spouse or a military family isn't that special (bracing for the hate mail), beyond how special each of us are in our own unique ways anyway.  There are challenges that come with the lifestyle, and perks too.  It seems like every single one of those "ten things" are applicable to other life situations as well.  But while we get 30 days of paid leave a year (providing we can find time to take it) other people didn't get the leave in the first place.  While we have full medical coverage, spouse support groups, and discounted shopping to soothe our ruffled feathers at being  imposed upon, some are watching us and wishing life were this easy.

A word about the exceptions.  I do feel for homeless vets.  I think those who are hurt in service should be well taken care of.  I don't actually know how well the military does at addressing either of these issues.  I also, while I can't say I've been there or "understand", very much feel for how hard it is/would be to live with a spouse or be the spouse struggling with PTSD.  You may not go in thinking that something like that is going to happen, and I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through it.  Then again, many others struggle with that problem from events other than deployment (rape, abuse, and more than can be named here).

The point is, life is hard.  Being a military spouse is hard.  Being a single parent is hard.  Losing someone you love is hard.  Going to college while trying to support a family is hard.  Having triplets is hard. Divorce is hard.  If your life is not hard, please email me and give me some tips.  There is something to be said for developing empathy for all of the different kinds of hard.  There is also something to be said for recognizing that your military life is no harder than most civilian lives. 

I'm not actually condemning this article.  I totally whine about things that are hard for me, and much of that includes military issues.  The lady who wrote the article is perfectly within her rights to whine about the things that are hard for her.  The only issue I have is that I've been stumbling across huge numbers of posts and articles about why it's so hard to be a military spouse...seeming to imply that it's harder than being whatever-other-kind-of-spouse there is.  (Admittedly, I sometimes find the same kinds of articles about Moms-who-stay-home or Moms-who-work, with all sorts of accompanying ridiculousness in the comments section.)  So if your spouse is not in the military, know that your struggles are just as difficult.  And if your spouse is in the military, know that you are supporting something good, but your struggles are not really harder than average.  You are not more "at your limit" than any other mom, or more tired, or more picked on.  You may be at your limit, and tired, and somewhat picked on.  Who isn't?

Go ahead with the articles about military life--I just learned that one of my touchy spots is a normal part of military life.  Go ahead with the articles about staying at home, or working, or traveling, or dealing with loss.  It's good to write and get it off your chest, it may help another person get through it or feel validated, it may serve as a journal for your kids, it may make someone think, it may provide insight into something previously incomprehensible.

A Lost Tooth, and a New Primary Presidency

Teddy, my sweet 5 year old, was trying to open a container of salad dressing with his teeth, when his bottom tooth, which was noticeably loose anyway, popped out and landed on his chair.  This was accompanied by much blood (for a tooth), crying, and pouting.  When Shawn asked if he was excited about losing his first tooth, he really didn't see any reason to be overjoyed.  I let him have applesauce for dinner instead of pizza and salad.  For some reason, he thought of this as a reward, and was much happier.  To be fair, he did get the peach flavored applesauce usually reserved for the baby.  But then, after he was told to put his tooth in a ziploc bag so he wouldn't lose it, he didn't, and he did lose it.  Hysterics ensued until he was told he could probably just write a nice letter to the tooth fairy telling her about how his first tooth came out and she would still bring him a dollar.  He began his letter "Dear Mom". 

I have been the 1st counselor in the Primary Presidency (a church position helping to teach the children) for a while.  Guess what?  I still am.  My President told us last month that the Presidency was being reorganized and we would all be released.  Bishop caught me in the hall and said I was requested as the 1st counselor again, so I was released and sustained in the same breath.  It's okay.  I like Primary.  I was kind of dumped into the calling in the first place with no training, and no clue what I was doing.  I think it's been a little over a year (?) and I really had no idea how much I know, until tonight.  We had our first Presidency meeting, which lasted two hours, and I knew the answers to almost every single question and then some!  I tell you, this is the first time that has ever happened.  I realize that I have learned a lot in the last year, and I really do like being a part of the Primary...although nursery leader is probably my very favorite calling in Primary :).

In other news, my hot water still doesn't work.  And I really don't want to talk about it.  Suffice it to say, the people who owned this place before us are not my favorite people in the world.

All the little things I'll never remember

There are so many.  And it's hard to remember that I won't remember them in a few months, or even a few weeks.  So here are a few of the things I would like to remember some day.

Lorenzo made such a beautiful discovery the other day (over fall break) that I was sad when I realized I didn't catch it on camera after all (the sd card didn't know it was there but Olie was trying).  He discovered the game of rolling a ball back and forth between two people, and you could just see the realization dawn on him that he had found another way to interact and others would respond and play with him.  He laughed and laughed, and it was so funny to see him try to throw the ball.  He would make a throwing motion but not be able to make his fingers let go...it was quite the process.  He loved it.  He loves to play games.  He'll blow raspberries with his little tongue at the slightest invitation and loves it when others do it with him.  He loves peek-a-boo.  He loves tag, and pat-a-cake, and singing.  Especially Old MacDonald.  I'm loving this baby stage, and trying not to stress that I get nothing done.  I'll finish the dishes and sweep the floor when he's not quite so cute.  Maybe.

Xander's favorite stuffed animal is Eeyore.  I mention this because I can't for the life of me remember what Demetri's favorite stuffed animal was at that age.  Or Olie's.  And that makes me just a little sad.  Xander loves Eeyore, and then his monkey, and Shawn's huge teddy bear from when he was a kid.  His favorite song used to be "How Much is That Doggie in the Window."  Then it was "Sunshine in My Soul."  Now the Sunshine song has moved into second place in favor of "the rainbow song," which is in the Children's Songbook but I have forgotten the real name.  We also sing a lot of "The Bear sat around with his foot on the log."  Is there a real name for that song?  He loves all of the different styles of singing it (happy, sad, in a baby voice, and really fast) that we do and tries so hard not to smile or laugh while watching me sing it in a "crying" voice.  We sing and read every day.  If I don't read a story before nap time (and bedtime too), and sing at least one song (but probably more like five), there is a tantrum.  But as long as the routine stays fairly similar, he willingly climbs in bed every time.  His favorite book changes more rapidly than his favorite songs.  He liked If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and loves all Amelia Bedelia.  He's quite likely to request the same book over and over, for nap time and bedtime, every day until I get tired of it and hide it.  I also rotate the books in the bookshelf upstairs every now and then, but I'm not sure any of them realize it yet.  I love it when he uses words like "actually."  He manages to make it sound like it has 5 syllables.

Teddy's favorite song is "In Our Lovely Deseret."  It used to be the rainbow song, but Olie liked "the one about children" so then Teddy did too.  He also loves "Follow the Prophet" though.  His favorite stuffed animal is his "Georgie,"  which really is a Curious George stuffy.  (He calls all monkeys Georgie.)  You know, the more I read of Curious George books the less I like them.  Really?  A monkey who never does what he is asked, gets into all sorts of trouble and never suffers the consequences but is always lauded as a hero!  Well, okay.  Sorry for the rant.  I must have been reading a little too much R.A Rey lately.  (And I only just developed this dislike over the last year.  I've been reading this stuff for much longer than that.  I'm starting to get really picky about books.)  Back to Teddy.  He has a dislike for showering that I don't understand.  I love showers.  He has a stubborn streak the size of Texas that I really thought he might outgrow at some point.  I don't really think so any more.  He wants to do whatever Olie is doing, just to prove he can do it too.

Olie's favorite song is "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief."  Why?  Because it's Demetri's favorite song.  Why?  Because Shawn pointed out that it is a hymn that tells a story.  They request it every night, but I just don't think I'm capable of singing all 7 verses of that song every night.  So they only get it occasionally.  They sleep on the same bed right now and are learning to share space.  I think it is actually helping them to get along better.  Or maybe that is my imagination.  Olie is loving cooking right now.  He was just put in piano lessons (which I should have saved as a Christmas present!) and is loving that too.  He practices every day.  Because after he practices he's allowed to play music games on the computer that his teacher has assigned as "homework."  They aren't too bad either.  Pitch and rhythm stuff.  He was just promoted to "assistant dishwasher" and hates it.  Of course, he was promoted because of his frequent complaining about work.  Boy is that kid creative.  He has whole little schemes about how he is going to make his children do all the work when he grows up and isn't going to do a thing, ever, that he doesn't want to.  Or run away, so that he doesn't have to do any more work ever.  Shawn told him that he is going to continue to get more chores until that attitude goes away.  He used to try this little manipulation act, saying, "I thought you loved me, but you don't really," while crying pathetically and silently on the stairs.  Not only did that not work, but it caused him a lot of trouble, so he wised up pretty quick and cut that one from his bag of tricks.  I feel I have much to learn from him!
I hear a baby screaming...it may be a long night.

 The above was written a couple of weeks ago.  But I just couldn't post it without writing about Demetri.  He's growing up far too quickly for me, but is such a great help around the house.  I often don't know what I would do without him.  His job is the kitchen.  He is a great worker, when he puts his mind do it, and loves to work to music.  Beethoven's 9th symphony is is favorite, ahem, er "song."  Piece of music.  But that is still what he will say when you ask for his favorite song. He loves, loves, loves to sing, and can be heard singing all through the house when there is no music on--or to the music.  I need to teach that boy more songs.
 He has been a wonderful peacemaker lately, entertaining and getting along with all of his brothers. Sometimes he comes to me in the morning and takes the baby, so I can get some more sleep.  Teething (and now a cold) has been a little rough, and Lorenzo has never been a very good sleeper to begin with anyway.  Demetri is loving gymnastics, and getting ready for the next season.  Since we don't attend any competitions that are held on a Sunday, we are just hoping he'll meet the requirements (three meets and a certain number of points) to go to Regionals.  If not, it will all be okay anyway.  He is still quite the drama king, and I'd love to put him back into acting classes, but lack the time and money at the moment, so it will have to wait.  When he gets hurt he screams so loudly you would think he was going to die, and many a parent has looked at me like I must be a horrible person (or rushed to his side themselves) when I slowly and calmly walk toward him as he is writhing in agony.  What they don't understand is that he will be up and playing again in 5 minutes, and that running to him and worrying over him ensures a stellar performance, but doesn't really help anything.
On Saturday, we went to the pool on Schofield, and Demetri jumped off the 30 ft. platform.  This has been his wish ever since he turned 10, but it was closed for construction for some time.  We finally made it there, and he was ecstatic.

Not that this has anything to do with things I want to remember, but for interested readers, we have a working refrigerator now.  No hot water though.  Some electrical problem. 

"Don't Say It's a Fine Morning or I'll Shoot Ya"

(Name that movie!) That's how I've been feeling the last few days.
No, I didn't get lost in a pile of dirty laundry...though some days I feel like it.  I'm lost in the small matters of life, that right now seem like big matters, even though I know better.

My sister-on-law came and stayed with us, so I got to spend time with my newest niece!  It was a blast!  Even though the day she arrived, my refrigerator died.  She was very understanding about my lack of preparedness when it came to food.  We went to the beach a lot.  Bellows was probably everyone's favorite, except the babies.  They always appreciate Ko' Olina the most.  We went to the Dole Plantation just to enjoy a Dole Whip, and then strolled over to Wiamea Bay and stayed until dark.  We spent an evening shopping while Shawn took all the kids to gymnastics :).  And spent a lot of time talking and enjoying each other's company.

 About that refrigerator.  It still doesn't work, of course, though it is still sitting in my kitchen.  I am STILL living out of a cooler.  We will get another one.  Soon.  It really impacts how my day goes though.  I don't want to go shopping for very much food at a time.  I have to go buy ice every day.  I have to plan meals carefully, and if I don't, often I'm scrounging in the pantry, short on time, trying to come up with something edible.  There are plenty of other little problems like that in life at the moment, but that is the most annoying right now.  Mostly, I'm just overwhelmed by a very long to-do list that crept up on me out of nowhere.  Shawn's schedule just changed to 11 hour days 5 days a week too. Whatever happened to 3/12's?  Those were nice, *sigh*.

In other news, my mom-in-law is coming for Fall Break (a school break unique to Hawaii I think?) so we're planning more beach/pool/water park time. :) And, I'm very excited to watch General Conference.  It's usually somewhat relaxing (even with the kids) and always uplifting.  It will help me to calm down and stop stressing over little, temporary things that I won't remember in a year (or probably even 3 months from now!). 

Baby Lorenzo can stand up (for 5 seconds at a time or so)!  He also has two teeth on top to match the bottom two.  He's a very busy fellow.  He sneaks outside if anyone should happen to leave the door open, got to the top of the stairs several times before I managed to get a gate up, makes a run for the bathroom occasionally, and is always after the bookshelves.  I take this all to mean he's quite normal. 

What's a Commissary?

This really isn't an "army wife" blog.  But I thought I might write a little more about the military after a conversation-via-text with a little sister that left me laughing.  I don't talk about it much with people who aren't in the military I guess, so I don't realize what people don't know.  I am in my own little world over here (along with thousands of other military families, that is). 

So here are just a couple of random thoughts on my personal experience with military life.

I was talking with my husband just this evening.  He remembered a little girl about 2, who had just PCSed (moved) to the area and was telling him all about her very best friends and how wonderful they were.  He remembered feeling so sad for her that she didn't understand that she was not going to see them any more and would be making new friends.  I realized that my children are now at ages that will cause them to see this whole "moving" thing in a very different light.  Maybe "unfair" instead of "a new adventure."  Not that moving in and of itself is all that uncommon.  It's the moving every 2-4 years that sounds hard on kids.  And, from what I hear, it is.  They hand out pamphlets on helping kids cope.  There are hundreds of tips on helping your children keep some stability while being uprooted every few years.  As Shawn said, with no friends you remember growing up with, from way back when.  I have friends like that, but he doesn't.  So, one of the things I resolved to do is have good family traditions we can take wherever we go.  The gospel will be wherever we go.  And I am personally going to be excited about and love every place we are stationed.  Period.  There is no "I really don't want to be here."  I want my children to see the adventure in it, so I have to see it too.

I used to think the movie At War With the Army was a funny movie.  Now there are some parts that make me laugh until I cry.  Because they are so authentic.  Who knew?  Of course, it isn't really the funniest thing when he comes home announcing a very important formation at 0900 and I realize that he'll have to leave the house at 0600--so that the company can make sure everyone is there an hour early, which means that someone will be calling by 0730 to make sure he's there an hour early, so he better leave here by 0600 at the latest to account for traffic and make sure that he's there by 0700 so everyone will be happy.  We only live 25 minutes from the base!  It's not always that ridiculous.  But sometimes it is. 

Remembering

This post is for my sister, who wants to encourage important conversations instead of chit chat, which is also a habit of happier people..  Connecting, instead of going through life nodding and waving at people and feeling disconnected from all of them.

I had a miscarriage many years ago.  It was hard.  I was traveling.  My spouse didn’t seem to care at all, and wasn’t around.  My aunt was there, and was very supportive.  It wasn’t sudden.  I knew it was going to happen several days before it did, and was dreading it, anxious and worried for days.  I spent hours on the phone with insurance, trying to figure out how in was covered in an out-of-state hospital and what I was supposed to do.  I didn’t feel like they cared at all, and was sure they were trying to make it as difficult as possible. 

It was nothing like I thought it would be.  I was in “labor” for 13 hours, longer than any other labor I’ve had.  I was scared, and tense, and had a migraine.  I was traveling for several hours of contractions, from St. George to somewhere above Salt Lake.  I labored at my Aunt’s best friend’s house- a woman I had never met, with several children.  I don’t even remember my own child or who was watching him—I have no idea what he did or where he was for days.  I’m sure I should thank my aunt for making sure he was fed and happy.  I was self-conscious, wondering why this was so hard and long.  I thought it would be quick and relatively painless.  I shut myself in someone’s bedroom and cried and paced and curled up on their bed.  I wanted Mom and wanted to be home.

Eventually, my Aunt’s friend suggested massage.  It was painful, but a little while later, I was in the bathroom hemorrhaging.  I couldn’t move.  I called out for someone I think, and then I passed out.  I was in shock and being whisked to the hospital.  I came out of it long enough to tell someone I didn’t want to go to the hospital, that I wouldn’t do what they told me to.  We detoured to the bishop’s house for a blessing.  I was told to go to the hospital and do everything the doctor told me to, that he would be guided to know what to do.  At the hospital, I wanted to talk, but I couldn’t make the words come out.  I was still in shock.  I was so cold.  People were talking, to me, about me.  There were needles, and swabs, an IV, and they were asking lots of questions.  My aunt talked to me for hours and helped me to be calm.

Then it was over.  Everything was back to normal.  Except it wasn’t quite.  I was given a Father’s blessing. I talked to my mom.  She'd never had a miscarriage and told me to talk to my grandma.  For my grandmother, it was a long-ago experience, and she didn't have much to say.  She told me it just happens sometimes, to go on with life, and trust the Lord.

Then life became harder than I could ever have imagined, and my thoughts about it drowned in the wake of a new trial.

A couple of years and a new life later, I remembered the miscarriage with renewed anxiety.  I was at peace with what had happened.  I understood at least partly why, and why it was good.  But I was worried- that I would never have another child, that I would continue to miscarry (an inconsiderate doctor told me, while doing an intravaginal ultrasound and telling me my baby didn’t have a heartbeat, that I would thereafter have a 50% of miscarrying in every pregnancy after that), or not even be able to conceive.  We tried for 6 months, and I was starting to think of going to a doctor to see what was wrong.  I did conceive, and then I worried more.  I worried that I would do something wrong and hurt the baby, that no matter what I did I wouldn’t be able to fix it, that something was wrong with me.  

Now, when I find that I'm expecting, I hold my breath until I hear his heartbeat.  Then some more until I begin to feel him move.

I know God is in control, He works in my best interests, and that even as I have difficult experiences in the future, I will not be tested beyond my ability to endure.  I'm sure this knowledge should cause me to be calm about everything and never worry.  It doesn't work that way.  I still stress.  But I remind myself that He loves me and wants the best for me, and that everything will work out.  Sometimes I remind myself every day, sometimes I don't need reminding for weeks, and sometimes my husband does it for me :). 

What We Did for Homeschool This Summer

Like the creative title?  I think I'm out of energy for the day, and it's only lunchtime.  On the other hand, we successfully had devotional, family scriptures and prayer, chores, and individual scriptures (which somehow requires a whole lot of my time), before lunch.  I know, those are the things we probably should have had done before breakfast, but it felt like a lot today.

We did some homeschooling-type activities this summer, partly because I like it, and partly to make up for the months following giving birth, in which I didn't even pretend to be trying to homeschool.

This is a list of books we read- some were audio books, and some were books just the two oldest read.


The Cricket in Times Square (A)
Little House in the Big Woods (A)
Little House on the Prairie (A)
The Secret Zoo
The Boxcar Children
Surprise Island (Boxcar Children #2)
Ragged Dick
Wind in the Willows
Betsy and Tacy Go Downtown
Boys Against Girls
Lincoln's Grave Robbers
The Mummy's Curse (Hardy Boys)
Several Nonfiction books on Egypt, unfortunately chosen at random while at the library.
The Igloo (Nonfiction, about how Eskimo's survived, and how to build Igloos)
Dinosaurs Before Dawn (Magic Treehouse)
The Yellow House Mystery (Boxcar Children #3)


There is no way I could possibly list all the picture books we read, but here are some of our favorites (which we read over and over again throughout the summer), and a few new ones the kids loved:

Curious George
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
May I See the King?
The House That Jack Built
Christina Katerina and the Great Bear Train
The Jester Has Lost His Jingle
The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales
Dear Mrs. LaRue
The First of Octember
Actually, all things Dr. Suess (especially my 5 yr old!)
Amelia Bedelia (Treasury)
If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, etc.
The Family Bedtime Treasury: Tales for Sleepy Times and Sweet Dreams
Tikki Tikki Tembo
I'm Not Cute

We did a unit on Egypt.  Kind of slapped together :(.  Someday I'll do a better one, but, we did it.  All about mummies (yuck), culture, pyramids, religion, and a few random facts.  Then Demetri read the Hardy Boys book to finish it up.

We drew lots of pictures.  Many drawing lessons were courtesy of nice people giving children free lessons on youtube.  Thank you.

We started Khan Academy.  The kids beg to play it.  They have to have all their other work done first.  They just discovered the computer programming lessons on there and will spend as long as I let them.  The best part of it is, I don't really have to teach much math.  If they don't understand something, there is a video to show them how.  This makes me very, very happy!

We wrote letters to family and friends.  Not all of them were sent :(, as I found out the more I cleaned, but we have tried.  We started scripture journals.  We cooked, did boy scouts, lots of library, piano lessons, geography, a couple of field trips (Pearl Harbor anyone?).

So, looking back, even though I worry once in a while that we don't get enough formal schooling in, I think they are doing just fine. Half the time they don't even know that what they are doing counts as "school."  And that's the way I like it.

A Couple of Pictures. Babies grow too fast!

It's not that I'm too busy to blog, but it could well be that I'm too tired :).  The goal at the moment is to post at least once a month.  In this way, I may still end up with some sort of memoir or "journal" when I can't remember my own name anymore.  Sadly, a child dropped the hard drive with my journal on it, which, sadly, was not backed up.  I thought it was, but it wasn't.  A whole year and a half of journal gone just like that.  Pouf!  But, I still have my blog, which has Lorenzo's birth story at least...

I tried to print pictures to send to grandparents today.  That was a waste of ink.  I should know to wait until Shawn comes home.  So, I'll do the next best thing and post some here.

This is Renzo way back in June.

 But I believe this one is July :).  I looked around and saw him with his mouth on the diaper box, and realized that he was kissing the Huggies baby.  He talked to the baby, tried to play with the baby and grab his face.  It was adorable, and hilarious. 

 This is currently my very favorite picture of Xander.  I love this age!

 All my guys (wishing the baby wasn't in the hiking backpack about now) hiking to Manoa Falls.

Someday soon, when Shawn lives here again, we'll go hiking again.  We love to hike, and we love to swim.  So Hawaii is pretty awesome.

This week we're just working on feeling better.  I'm glad they only seem to have mild cases of Hand, Foot, and Mouth.  Still, had to cancel all our plans and appointments for the week, and we have had an I Dream of Jeannie marathon and a Bewitched marathon.  Other than that we've been working on sharing- 2 computers and 3 kids who want to play Khan academy.

My Awesome Chaotic Life (Or How Summer Has Flown By)

Ah yes, ahem.  About that blog.  Well, I wanted to write several times in May, but May was a tough month.  Shawn was gone for the entirety of it.  In Singapore.  He had fun, I survived it, and the kids didn't forget who he is.  Then I have had company (different people) for a month.  I like company, so this is good.  We tried/cooked new foods, went to the beach,/waterpark/pool a lot, did Pearl Harbor/the PCC, went to the temple with my whole family (that was pretty cool!), went paddleboarding (thanks Miguel!), more beach, got to sit around a little and talk story with some of my favorite people, and just generally had a blast.  I also went to the Army ball- which was a nice change of pace. 

This weekend my sister-in-law was visiting.  We went to Nanakuli for an hour to get some sun and ocean time before going bowling, and then Saturday we managed to get a few hours in at Pokai Bay.  Hope she didn't mind the chaos of our house and trying to get ready with so many small people.  They are very sad that everyone is gone, and want to know when we can go to Idaho (and can there please be snow).

Lorenzo started scooting a few weeks ago, and in all the mayhem, I'm not even sure I have a video of it.  He also has two teeth.  That all happened in the middle of the night, for about two weeks.  I remember, because I was up with him, pacing, and he under no circumstances wanted to sit or sleep horizontally.  There were a few rough nights, but it passed, and he's mostly back to his bouncy, happy self.  He loves the ocean.  He loves poi. 

Is It Still May?

The month is creeping by.  It's going a little too slow for my taste.  On the other hand, children grow up so quickly that I should just relish each day.  I was thinking about how my kids are doing, and how they are changing.  This, is pretty much copy/pasted right out of my journal, which obviously hasn't been updated much:

Demetri has been a huge help lately. He's done a lot of chores and helping with the baby.  He's getting great at baking bread.  He has been holding the baby for me at night after the other kids are in bed, and putting him to sleep while I clean and fold laundry.  It helps that I've let him watch old (1940's) movies with me while doing so.  He is pretty interested in magic tricks right now.  He has several magic books that he was given for various birthdays, and is starting to get some of the tricks down.  He showed me two this evening that were fairly decent.  He wants to sew a cape, and make a magician's hat.

For the last few months, Olie has been insisting that he doesn't like to read, and hasn't been looking at books during quiet time.  This week he decided to read the Book of Mormon from start to finish (as did Teddy a few weeks ago) and today he lamented not being able to read chapter books yet.  I told him he could probably try out a chapter book, so he grabbed a random one that was too hard, and was upset at all the words he couldn't read.  I found a couple of our easiest, explained that if there were more than 5 words on a page that he didn't know it was probably too hard, but 5 or less was fine.  He settled on The Boxcar Children and read 51 pages today (well- he was grounded and couldn't play outside so he read while all the other kids were playing in the neighbor's kiddie pool).  He was so excited that he told everyone about how he can read chapter books now.  Hope it doesn't wear off!  On the flip side though, he usually does his chores very quickly but when I tried to get him to this evening he was too busy reading.  He also took his book up to bed and started reading in bed.  I had to turn lights off and take it away.  He told me when he was finished with it he was going to read it over again and again, but I told him there are many more in the series that he can read.  Then he wanted to make a reservation at the library, right now.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'm sure he'll remember.


Teddy is trying to keep up.  He wants to do everything as well as his big brothers, which is probably why he can read so well, and why he is already working on multiplication tables.  He still has some work to do in addition, but he just doesn't want to get left behind, so he's jumping the gun a little.  So he's doing well in school, and I don't even have to do anything- he just does whatever his brothers are working on.  He loves to cook, and really doesn't like it when I try to help.  He reminds me every Friday that it's his turn to make dinner.  He's not so great about getting chores done, but plays so well with Xander right now that I'm trying to let it slide a little and do some of his chores while he entertains the 2 year old.  Some days that is quite the trick, and worth more to me than cleaning the living room and emptying the dishwasher.

Xander has moved from “I wuv oo mommy,” which I loved, to “I luff you mommy.”  I love to hear the way their language changes as they grow.  I'm always sad when it stops being cute and so little-sounding.  He loves to play outside.  In fact, whenever he talks to anyone on the phone, that is the first (and usually only) thing he tells them.  “How are you Xander?”  “I'm trying to go outside.”  “I want to see if Tuti (his best friend) is home.”  He adores his baby brother, so much that I have to be careful where I set him down.  Xander will try to pick him up.  Whenever Lorenzo cries, Xander runs to him and says “Don't cry Renzo!” or “Don't be a sad baby; be a happy baby.”


Lorenzo is 4 months old.  I forgot how many llbs.  15?  Bigger than any of the others at this age except Teddy.  He props himself up on his elbows when you put him on his tummy, to see what he can see.  He laughs at himself in the mirror, or talks to himself.  He laughs delightedly at his brothers when they try to entertain him, so one of the sounds that makes him laugh is a snarl.  Oh brother.  At least it doesn't scare him.  He likes to be tossed in the air, and he loves people.  He doesn't cry much.  UNLESS you put him in his car seat.  Unfortunately, he ends up there all too often.  I thought about quitting gymnastics because of it, but gymnastics has been so good for Demetri that I couldn't bring myself to do it.  So we just switched our routine up a little so we're not driving home in rush-hour traffic.  That helps.  He bats at toys and grabs at everything he can get his little fingers around to stuff it in his mouth.  That's only happened in the last few weeks.  I have separated the hair of many a young woman from his hands recently.  Someday they'll learn. 

The Pure Genius of Oil Pulling + Health Conscious Kids--And it has Nothing to Do With Health

Well, okay.  I do oil pulling for the health benefits as well--and it really has helped.  I have some terrible tooth pain and I'm hoping to avoid a root canal.  Oil pulling helps immensely.  It also has the awesome side effect (happy surprise!) of making my teeth whiter, and helping my smelly breath- which I've had a problem with for years.  Yay.

My children are obsessing over health at the moment, probably because their mom does it.  And they are still at the stage where they want to be just like me :).  As I have worked on this tooth, Olie and Demetri have given up or minimized refined sugar with me, passed up pasta and other yummy things for dinner to have just a big salad, and most recently, started doing oil pulling with me.  Today I set the timer for 15 minutes (none of them have actually made it that long until today), and handed out the spoonfuls of oil (I know, bleck!).  Teddy sauntered up to me and bravely asked if he could try too (for the first time).  With Shawn at work, a very asleep baby, and a usually quiet 2 yr old (unless riled up by big brothers), do you know what I had for 15 solid minutes?  Silence.  15 minutes of total and complete silence.  In my house.  It was glorious.  We should definitely do this every day.  But I imagine the novelty will wear off fairly quickly.  Still, one can dream.

Time Passes Too Quickly

Demetri is crying.  Maybe I am too.  Olie is saying he loves his Grandma Wilcock and doesn’t want her to go.  Their great-great-grandma is still here, but fading quickly.  Her 92^nd birthday was just a few days ago, and she seemed to be doing great.  Now she doesn’t recognize anyone and is being taken down to Hurricane, UT, where she grew up and raised a family.

I’m not brokenhearted.  She has lived a good, long, and full life, and I’m sure she is ready to be with Grandpa again.  I have wonderful memories of being with her, living in her house when I was 19, visiting, taking my children to her house to visit and take pictures. 

I am, however, very upset about living so far from family.  (I’m also very sad that I didn’t send the letter my sons wrote to her with the pictures of Lorenzo- still sitting on the table in my entryway).  I like Hawaii just fine, but I HATE living so far away from everyone.  I don’t believe it is supposed to be this way.  I think children should grow up knowing their aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents.  There is nothing I can do about it right now, so I might as well just learn to accept it, but I’m sad that my kids can’t just walk over to Grandma’s house to give her flowers, or at least drive over for Sunday dinner.  I’m sure technology is a great “cure” but we don’t use it like that very much.

There is always the wish that you had more pictures, remembered things more clearly, had asked for more advice, listened better, spent more time…

My favorite memories of Grandma Wilcock are of washing clothes with her in her really old washer (with a wringer to put the clothes through before you hang them on the line); listening to her play the accordion, piano, and sing (usually with Grandpa); playing with toys and puzzles on her living room floor- and watching my kids play there; gardening with her, and listening to her tell stories about Grandpa.  I also loved to play with the prisms in her window.  She would get them down for us to hold and tell us how they worked- and let us make rainbows.  I was quick to point those out to my boys when we brought them. 

I would love to live up in the mountains of Idaho, and raise my children near family, sharing and doing all the things I got to do when I was growing up.

This is Me Following Through

With PICTURES :)
So many pics, so little time.  These are the more recent ones, not the earlier ones I haven't sorted through.  Some days I'm glad Shawn likes to take pictures!

Okay, so he doesn't look too happy, but I'm happy to have him!

 One month old!

 Up close he looks like a doll-- well to me anyway.

 Demetri found a way to get out of chores AND use all of my dish soap!

He made the "bubble blower" out of yarn and straws :)

 This guy is resourceful.

 I love it when he smiles!!!

 The boys at the park.  I think each of these shows the character of each kid pretty well.  Maybe not Olie, though that cheesy smile of his is very common.  He was just happy to get up on the monkey bars like his brother.