Getting a Serious Head Start on New Year’s Goals

I randomly had the urge to make some new goals last month.  I wrote down the things I wanted to do or change, and set them aside, thinking they’d make great New Year’s Goals.  But then, as life happened, I just wanted to start working on them already.  So I did.  These are the goals I’ve been focusing on recently.

Simplifying my life.  I haven’t altogether given up on minimalism, but it may take a few years to get there (like, after my kids are out of the house?!), so in the meantime, I’m working on simplifying every area of my life.  Physically, I’m still working on throwing things out and organizing my house, which has included getting rid of my couches and moving a futon downstairs, putting pictures up, buying curtains (which may have turned out to be a mistake!), and hauling bags and bags of things to the local thrift shop.  The boys now have 14 tops and 8 or so bottoms, and I’m pretty sure my laundry room gave a standing ovation.  I even went through my books!  -This must mean I’m serious.  Also in the name of simplifying, I have given up Facebook, and I’m working on my other vices.  (I don’t want my children to think being glued to your phone is a. normal, or b. desirable.)  We went through toys, and are back down to balls, cars, blocks, and a couple of dolls.  The baby toys are stowed upstairs for the moment.  I’m considering getting rid of many, many other things (all the arts and crafts supplies, things that haven’t been used in 6 months, and things that get left out instead of put away).  But I’m meeting with serious opposition from my husband.  So I have temporarily settled for confiscating possessions left out in the evening and letting the children do extra chores to get them back.  Blessings from this simplifying are already evident- the children are displaying an increased level of creativity.  They’ve been playing with blocks every day, using them as houses, cities, and roads for their cars (in much the same way I used to play with dolls and blocks).  

Getting to bed early.  I’ve gotten more serious about this one.  I’ve been in bed by 10:30 4 or 5 nights out of 7 recently.  And yes, I’m proud of that.  That’s a really hard one for me!  But I keep thinking of all the blessings associated with keeping that commandment, and remind myself that I do want them, so I have to “go and do”!

Since instituting the above two goals I’ve had more time, and it’s been more effective time as well.  With all my new-found time I’ve worked on a few other goals that had been on the back burner.  I’m reading to my children more, reading for myself more, practicing the piano, exercising every (almost) day, and studying Chinese again.  The first four are reasons I wanted to simplify my life in the first place.  The last one, of course, is a gift to my husband, and I have to continually remind myself of the benefits of learning Chinese.  However, on the uber-cute side, my 22 month old can speak Chinese, in complete sentences.  

Oh, and the side benefit to reading for myself more is that I’m learning cool things.  I’ve been reading gospel-themed books, articles I have meant to read for a while, with the occasional TED talk thrown in.  

Exciting events are thrown in too, just to keep life a little off-balance.  Xander figured out scissors also cut hair, and used this newfound power on himself and his baby brother.  I suppose it was bound to happen.  At least they are boys and I can just buzz their hair.  Demetri gets to go to the temple for the first time today!  (I’m still coming to grips with the fact that he’s that old.)  And my baby, talking in full sentences- that’s new too.  And unsettling.  But short of duct taping his mouth, what can I do?

And these do count right?  I don't have to make more goals on January 1st?  Maybe I'll just review these ones and make sure I'm still on-task :).

A Day in the Life of a Sick House

I should have been writing all week to keep sane instead of living on Facebook and Netflix.  We’ve been sick.  Not horribly, terribly sick where all I do all day is shovel baby Advil down throats while taking temps and cleaning up vomit while worrying about dehydration, but enough to keep the washer going (and kill my ecstasy at being caught up on the laundry), and everyone in the house (save for the few times they escaped the house and I had to round them back up).  It’s the you-think-everyone-is-better-but-then-someone-randomly-throws-up-or-spikes-a-fever kind of sick that keeps you guessing.  So even though no one has vomited or had a fever in 24 hours now, I’m still not letting anyone outside, and kind of waiting on edge for the next victim to surprise me.  Maybe I’ve been in the house too long.  

While being trapped entombed, um…while lovingly taking care of my sick children in our home, I have noticed a few problems (read: railed to my husband over the phone about the mess in my house until he consented to let me get rid of anything I want to) that need to be addressed.  Since my husband’s “okay”, I have been going through books, games, clothes, and getting rid of half of everything. 

I have yet to tackle the cookbooks.  I will be sad to see them go, but the truth of the matter is, with the rare exception, anytime I’m looking for a recipe I end up looking on the internet.  It’s easier.  And faster.  And I get more variety very quickly.  And each recipe has ratings.  With tips.  So really, they are going to need to go.  

My minimalistic tendencies should be well-honed by the time I get to 70.  By then the grandchildren will be screaming at their parents as they are dropped off at my house “No!  Not Grandma’s house!  It’s SOOO BORING!  She has nothing in her house at all and there is nothing to do!  She doesn’t even have a couch to sit on!”  In the meantime, there are 40 tabs up on my phone.  House plans at 1500-2000 s.f. (with 4-5 bedrooms), couches a roomba can fit under, cleaning droid reviews, and a fruitless google search for how to have only 100 things and still raise 5 kids.  Did I mention being in a house for 5 days with sick kids makes me want to burn down the house, or at least throw everything away?

On an entirely different note- I read a most wonderful Ensign article about going to bed early and rising early.  My best friend called me and tipped me off that I should read it (does she know me or what?!).  I have struggled for years with not only the bad habit of going to bed late and getting up as late as possible (and detesting mornings with everything that is in me), but even to cultivate the desire to go to bed early and get up early.  I know it’s a commandment- it probably goes hand in hand with “thou shalt not kill”, but nevertheless it has been one of my problems for years and years.  I would try every now and again, but always ended up falling off the wagon in short order.  Now, I read this Ensign article and was greatly inspired and motivated to change.  I even toyed with the idea of hanging the article in a frame in my bedroom (I still might!).  I set a firm bedtime for myself, and stuck with it…only to be awakened several times by children who had thrown up in their beds (I was pretty awake by the time I was done cleaning up children, changing all the bedding, and throwing a load of wash in), a teething baby, and a humongous cockroach that I could hear in the laundry room from my bedroom (the ensuing war was not pretty), and a couple of false alarms (that had me running upstairs to prevent as much of the mess as possible) by a fitful sleeper.  All of this tells me that God has a sense of humor.  Or he’s just testing me to see if my resolve to keep his commandments will hold.

And- a personal update: I'm fine.  Really, emotionally, physically, doing great.  The emotional angst over the miscarriage ended almost as soon as it was over- well, a couple of days after, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to become more physically fit and work on being healthier before getting pregnant.  My leg is also improving rapidly.  The limp is almost gone, except going up/downhill and the occasional ridiculous attempt at running after a child.  Running.  Ha.  The stairs are still hard.  I can't kneel yet.  But I am working on it- stretching, strength exercises.  Real life is good therapy.

Dear Mrs. Skaggs: Signed, Un-Frozen in Hawaii

This (http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/movie-frozen-gay-homosexual-agenda.html) was a most interesting blog post.  Do I agree with her findings?  I don’t know.  I never thought of it that way.  In my opinion, it is a moot point, because my husband and I disliked the movie so vehemently that it is never making its way into our home anyway, and the songs are not allowed to be sung, listened to, or played on the piano. 

Allow me to explain my interest in the above blog post.  Woman voices her view on a hit movie.  Woman is vilified and demonized in almost 2000 comments that consisted of people from 4 groups. 

I’m not treating EVERY category, as there were a few odd-ball ones that stand alone, such as the lady who was upset that inter-racial couples can get married in the temple now, and a few who just wanted to rant against Mormonism/Christian or religion in general.

So, basically, there are Mormons who saw the gay allegory and appreciated her input, Mormons who thought she read way too much into a child’s movie (didn’t see it), and Mormons who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance.  Then there were the people of an undefined religious status or clearly not Mormon who didn’t see the gay allegory and appreciated her input(wait, were there any of those?), those who didn’t see the possible allegory and thought she needed to get a life (a different life than her current one apparently) , and those who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance. 

It is the categories of people who make this post hilarious.  Most of the commenters were absolutely sure of themselves, the majority were not only unsympathetic but crude and (what’s the word for people who attack other people’s character because they disagree with their right to a different opinion?).  It’s one of those lose-lose situations for her.

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  No Way!  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  Me too!  But you didn’t appreciate it?  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

Really?  And it’s worth the deterioration of your soul to denigrate a woman with an idea that doesn’t jive with you?  It was kind of unbelievable.  Hundreds of people sure that either the lady was or wasn’t delusional and either way she was a poor excuse for a human because of what she believed.  I guess that’s freedom of speech, but boy does freedom of speech sometimes reveal unfavorable IQ levels.  If some people can see what she’s saying, fine.  If some people can’t, okay.  The rest (comment-wise) was just a disgusting display of bullying in the name of anti-bullying or chilling out…if that’s possible.

The next post,(http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/frozen-gay-agenda-response-mormon.html#.VIloIXvSk5A), only added to the circus, but this time in her favor.  How is the saying…If one person calls you a horse, laugh at him.  If two people call you a horse, think about it.  If three people call you a horse, go buy a saddle.  Something like that.  She listed ten different links to others who had come to the same conclusion (some happy about it, some sad).  This means, in my opinion, that several hundred, if not a thousand plus people, owe Mrs. Skaggs an apology, for telling her she was delusional and reading too much into “just a story.”  Turns out, it really could be viable allegory­—as many other people saw and wrote about as well, whether intended or not, and is cause for thought and possible discussion with your children (if they watch it), as an allegory for “gay suppression”, an allegory for all circumstances in which people are “stifled” in some way (and whether that is good or bad), and above all, whether that SONG (do I have to call it a song- that used to be such a nice-sounding word!) is carrying a good or bad message. 

As you can tell, I really do not like that song.  And honestly, I tried.  I couldn’t reconcile some of the lyrics with gospel principles (no right, no wrong, no rules for me anyone?) even in context of the movie—and, my husband pointed out, the song was not always going to be seen in context.  People thought it was a great song.  Not just a “great song in the proper context.”  They don’t sing it while thinking, but really, there is a place for self-restraint, growth, God’s will instead of mine, etc.  I didn’t take to the message. 

I know, I know.  There are a great many people, many of them my friends and family, who will tell me to chill and enjoy a movie once in a while without analyzing it to death.  But, as I just talked about with one of my sisters yesterday, I see gospel principles in every-day life, in everything.  Either it works with my idea of the gospel, or it doesn’t.  Nothing, to me, is just a story.  Everything carries a message, and I want to be intentional about what messages I’m accepting.

I don't know why my husband and I took an instant dislike to the movie.  I do know why we didn't like the song.  Maybe I'm overly critical.  But if you know me very well, you will also know that there are very few newer movies I like anyway, for any variety of reasons.  My sister told me that this is my blog and I can say what I want on it.  I hope she isn't regretting that now :).