Sports and Drama drama

A rant.  Really, I’ve been thinking a lot, and writing some, but I haven’t wanted to post anything I’ve ended up writing.  You know that saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?  Well, that might explain my radio silence.  Everything I’ve written lately has been, well, not particularly positive.

We can partially blame it on pregnancy hormones.  #6 is joining us in July!  I cry every day.  I get stress headaches every day.  That’s just how this pregnancy is going.

And, this post is no exception on the positivity front.  I have something to say about businesses that charge you an arm and a leg and then try to tell you what to do, even though you are hiring them!  (Don’t even get me started on doctors.)  We have a sport and an extracurricular activity (drama) that have both pulled this stunt recently.  I know- private business, and they have the right to run them any way they wish.  But it’s a good way to lose business.  The sport has a monopoly here, so you just deal with it or find a new sport, right?  But a coach did tell the kids that he was trying to get the policy changed so that anyone who was late to practice wasn’t allowed to practice that day.  Seriously?  I pay YOU an exorbitant amount of money every month (at least, that’s what my husband says).  You just do your job!  Coach!  If he’s late, oh well.  If he doesn’t show up at all, don’t worry about it.  You still get paid.  It’s not like it’s a subsidized public school sport (where we paid, what, less than a hundred dollars per season?).  And, (dare I say it), after all, it is just a sport.-My mother has been a piano teacher for years.  If a kid didn't show up for a lesson (without arranging it beforehand), I don't think she ever once penalized them beyond, obviously, still charging for her time.  It would have been infantile to tell them that they wouldn't be able to have a lesson that day because they were late.  It's a waste of their own time and money, not hers.  I love my reasonable mother. 

The other activity, drama, was an interesting and unexpected collision.  One of my sons, the stubborn one, didn’t want to do one of the activities during the two hour group class.  He’s never been in public school, and this is his first activity outside of the home with the exception of soccer.  He hasn’t had too much interaction with other adults being in charge of him.  When he has, there has often been a problem, including with family, so I guess I should have expected it.  So, he didn’t want to do the activity, which was dancing around like an idiot and chanting something.  Hey, it’s part of what you do in drama.  But I don’t blame him one bit.  I would have stood there and refused to play that kind of a game too.  In fact, I think I did: at Girl’s Camp, when I was much older.  Same game too.  Unfortunately, I was gone.  I had to go pick out countertops for our kitchen remodel (a whole nother story).  But when I came back, the teacher recounted the horribly embarrassing story, telling me that he had refused to participate and that this is a total participation class (why wasn’t that in the course description?!), and that my son had caused quite the ruckus.  Well, I think it was the teacher who caused the ruckus, because if he had just completely ignored my son when he didn’t want to participate there wouldn’t have been any kind of a problem.  But I came to that conclusion only yesterday, and the class was two weeks ago.  Talk about a slow response time.  See, the teacher insisted that Teddy participate.  Well, if you’re going to do that with that particular child you better have some pretty heavy ammo, like a spanking up your sleeve or a hefty extra chore, and he didn’t.  Well, he didn’t realize that he did, and didn’t know to use it (getting kicked out of the course).  Teddy ran out of the circle when the teacher kept insisting, and the teacher tried to physically bring him back.  That was a problem.  That’s the child who doesn’t do well with touch…as in, if you try to hug him when he didn’t initiate it you might get slugged.  So the teacher was telling me what a disruptive child I had, that he had caused the teacher to be pulled away from the rest of the class and concentrate on trying to deal with him, and and that any further instances would result in his being kicked out of the class.  I, of course, apologized profusely and reprimanded my child for not listening to the adult in charge (before I knew what dumb game he had refused to play, and before I had analyzed the situation).  He now understands that if he doesn’t listen to that teacher he won’t be allowed to finish the class.  So, mission accomplished, right? (Come to think of it- I'm pretty sure my father would have done the same sort of thing, or mostly, just looked at the teacher like he was an idiot for expecting my Dad to act like an idiot, and possibly have slugged him if he tried to force him back into the circle.  I-and Teddy- must get this from him!)

As I said, both of these are private businesses and I support their right to run them as they see fit.  I probably won’t be doing drama there again anyway.  They picked a *gasp* rap “song” as one of the showpieces for the end of the course, and I talked to the teacher about whether my children could opt out of that particular “song” for the performance as we don’t approve of any kind of rap in our home.  He was a little stunned.  No dice.  It would ruin the performance, but said that if I insisted they would scratch it from the program and scramble to put something else in.  And to let him know ASAP if they needed to do that because it would be quite the job to patch it up.  My sister was there.  She told me not to be “THAT MOM.”  The one everyone dreads when she walks into the room because she objects to or has a problem with everything everyone else views as normal.  I really am that mom.  We’ll just deal with it this time.  But I’m getting an education, the hard way, through experience, as usual.  I know to ask more questions, actually take advantage of the trial classes before signing up for stuff (seriously, why do I not do that?!), and review the content before committing.  Roll your eyes.  It’s okay.  But I invest a lot of time into teaching my kids certain values and to support things that are contrary to those values is kind of shooting myself in the foot.  I told my (concerned) kids we’d bite the bullet this time and just be more careful next time- and to just do the song.  They’ll be ecstatic not to see us back next semester anyway, I’m sure.

Getting a Serious Head Start on New Year’s Goals

I randomly had the urge to make some new goals last month.  I wrote down the things I wanted to do or change, and set them aside, thinking they’d make great New Year’s Goals.  But then, as life happened, I just wanted to start working on them already.  So I did.  These are the goals I’ve been focusing on recently.

Simplifying my life.  I haven’t altogether given up on minimalism, but it may take a few years to get there (like, after my kids are out of the house?!), so in the meantime, I’m working on simplifying every area of my life.  Physically, I’m still working on throwing things out and organizing my house, which has included getting rid of my couches and moving a futon downstairs, putting pictures up, buying curtains (which may have turned out to be a mistake!), and hauling bags and bags of things to the local thrift shop.  The boys now have 14 tops and 8 or so bottoms, and I’m pretty sure my laundry room gave a standing ovation.  I even went through my books!  -This must mean I’m serious.  Also in the name of simplifying, I have given up Facebook, and I’m working on my other vices.  (I don’t want my children to think being glued to your phone is a. normal, or b. desirable.)  We went through toys, and are back down to balls, cars, blocks, and a couple of dolls.  The baby toys are stowed upstairs for the moment.  I’m considering getting rid of many, many other things (all the arts and crafts supplies, things that haven’t been used in 6 months, and things that get left out instead of put away).  But I’m meeting with serious opposition from my husband.  So I have temporarily settled for confiscating possessions left out in the evening and letting the children do extra chores to get them back.  Blessings from this simplifying are already evident- the children are displaying an increased level of creativity.  They’ve been playing with blocks every day, using them as houses, cities, and roads for their cars (in much the same way I used to play with dolls and blocks).  

Getting to bed early.  I’ve gotten more serious about this one.  I’ve been in bed by 10:30 4 or 5 nights out of 7 recently.  And yes, I’m proud of that.  That’s a really hard one for me!  But I keep thinking of all the blessings associated with keeping that commandment, and remind myself that I do want them, so I have to “go and do”!

Since instituting the above two goals I’ve had more time, and it’s been more effective time as well.  With all my new-found time I’ve worked on a few other goals that had been on the back burner.  I’m reading to my children more, reading for myself more, practicing the piano, exercising every (almost) day, and studying Chinese again.  The first four are reasons I wanted to simplify my life in the first place.  The last one, of course, is a gift to my husband, and I have to continually remind myself of the benefits of learning Chinese.  However, on the uber-cute side, my 22 month old can speak Chinese, in complete sentences.  

Oh, and the side benefit to reading for myself more is that I’m learning cool things.  I’ve been reading gospel-themed books, articles I have meant to read for a while, with the occasional TED talk thrown in.  

Exciting events are thrown in too, just to keep life a little off-balance.  Xander figured out scissors also cut hair, and used this newfound power on himself and his baby brother.  I suppose it was bound to happen.  At least they are boys and I can just buzz their hair.  Demetri gets to go to the temple for the first time today!  (I’m still coming to grips with the fact that he’s that old.)  And my baby, talking in full sentences- that’s new too.  And unsettling.  But short of duct taping his mouth, what can I do?

And these do count right?  I don't have to make more goals on January 1st?  Maybe I'll just review these ones and make sure I'm still on-task :).

A Day in the Life of a Sick House

I should have been writing all week to keep sane instead of living on Facebook and Netflix.  We’ve been sick.  Not horribly, terribly sick where all I do all day is shovel baby Advil down throats while taking temps and cleaning up vomit while worrying about dehydration, but enough to keep the washer going (and kill my ecstasy at being caught up on the laundry), and everyone in the house (save for the few times they escaped the house and I had to round them back up).  It’s the you-think-everyone-is-better-but-then-someone-randomly-throws-up-or-spikes-a-fever kind of sick that keeps you guessing.  So even though no one has vomited or had a fever in 24 hours now, I’m still not letting anyone outside, and kind of waiting on edge for the next victim to surprise me.  Maybe I’ve been in the house too long.  

While being trapped entombed, um…while lovingly taking care of my sick children in our home, I have noticed a few problems (read: railed to my husband over the phone about the mess in my house until he consented to let me get rid of anything I want to) that need to be addressed.  Since my husband’s “okay”, I have been going through books, games, clothes, and getting rid of half of everything. 

I have yet to tackle the cookbooks.  I will be sad to see them go, but the truth of the matter is, with the rare exception, anytime I’m looking for a recipe I end up looking on the internet.  It’s easier.  And faster.  And I get more variety very quickly.  And each recipe has ratings.  With tips.  So really, they are going to need to go.  

My minimalistic tendencies should be well-honed by the time I get to 70.  By then the grandchildren will be screaming at their parents as they are dropped off at my house “No!  Not Grandma’s house!  It’s SOOO BORING!  She has nothing in her house at all and there is nothing to do!  She doesn’t even have a couch to sit on!”  In the meantime, there are 40 tabs up on my phone.  House plans at 1500-2000 s.f. (with 4-5 bedrooms), couches a roomba can fit under, cleaning droid reviews, and a fruitless google search for how to have only 100 things and still raise 5 kids.  Did I mention being in a house for 5 days with sick kids makes me want to burn down the house, or at least throw everything away?

On an entirely different note- I read a most wonderful Ensign article about going to bed early and rising early.  My best friend called me and tipped me off that I should read it (does she know me or what?!).  I have struggled for years with not only the bad habit of going to bed late and getting up as late as possible (and detesting mornings with everything that is in me), but even to cultivate the desire to go to bed early and get up early.  I know it’s a commandment- it probably goes hand in hand with “thou shalt not kill”, but nevertheless it has been one of my problems for years and years.  I would try every now and again, but always ended up falling off the wagon in short order.  Now, I read this Ensign article and was greatly inspired and motivated to change.  I even toyed with the idea of hanging the article in a frame in my bedroom (I still might!).  I set a firm bedtime for myself, and stuck with it…only to be awakened several times by children who had thrown up in their beds (I was pretty awake by the time I was done cleaning up children, changing all the bedding, and throwing a load of wash in), a teething baby, and a humongous cockroach that I could hear in the laundry room from my bedroom (the ensuing war was not pretty), and a couple of false alarms (that had me running upstairs to prevent as much of the mess as possible) by a fitful sleeper.  All of this tells me that God has a sense of humor.  Or he’s just testing me to see if my resolve to keep his commandments will hold.

And- a personal update: I'm fine.  Really, emotionally, physically, doing great.  The emotional angst over the miscarriage ended almost as soon as it was over- well, a couple of days after, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to become more physically fit and work on being healthier before getting pregnant.  My leg is also improving rapidly.  The limp is almost gone, except going up/downhill and the occasional ridiculous attempt at running after a child.  Running.  Ha.  The stairs are still hard.  I can't kneel yet.  But I am working on it- stretching, strength exercises.  Real life is good therapy.

Families are Forever

Quick Update: Everyone got the stomach flu (except Teddy).  It was a fun week.  It ended Thursday, so at least we weren’t sick over the holiday weekend.  

Also, I was given the go ahead to walk without the crutches as soon as my leg would hold my weight; so I practiced for several days, and as long as I don’t walk around too much I’m not using the crutches at all.  I can just use one crutch when I go out (like on Sundays).  My knee occasionally buckles unexpectedly, but the therapist thinks it’s just not strong enough yet.  I limp heavily, and the doctor wants the limp to be gone in 6 weeks when I come back.  Strength training here I come!

Lorenzo.  I love this stage.  I adore babies anyway, but this is one of the cutest stages there is.   He is 16 months.  When He was a year, he could say Mama, Dada, ba (ball), bu (binky), and bubu (bottle).  His newer words are much clearer, and I love the surprised look Shawn gets when he does or says new things.  He says book (with the “k”!), ball, drink, brothers (brus), and of course, cheese.  I’m pretty sure “cheese” was one of the first words of all my babies.  They love cheese.  He loves eggs, and if he sees them, you have to give him one (same with the cheese).  Boiled is probably his favorite, but he’ll eat them any way he can get them.  

He mimics other words too, and it’s so fun that babies who can’t even say a sentence still understand so much.  You ask where his toys are and he goes to the toy basket.  Tell him you’ll read him a story if he brings you a book (this is said an awful lot in my house, especially as I haven’t been very mobile lately), and he grabs a board book from the shelf.  Ask him if he’s hungry and he walks to his high chair and waits for you to put him in it.  This evening I told him to come lay down on the bed and go to sleep and he did!  (Love it when that happens.)

I love the games they play at this age.  He plays peekaboo, tag, catch, and we played with playdoh for an hour (at one time!) while the rest of the family was at the pool on Friday.  I didn’t even know (or maybe remember?) that babies that young could do one thing for that long.  It was fun.  And he likes me again.  Of course, if Shawn is around he still prefers to go to him first, but he comes to me and plays with me now instead of running away.  He points to body parts, but only when you say them in Chinese.  Don't worry, I'm sure he'll catch the English words soon enough.

Okay, so we’ve established that I love my baby.  I love the rest of them too :).  Xander has been an angel about potty training ever since the pull ups.  He brings me books and asks me to read them for about 45 minutes each day.  Teddy is learning to clean really well, and he’s proud of the job he does now.  He is better than me at Chinese (he practices more than me, and loves it when we practice together).  Olie is so excited about going to cub scouts in August!  He is getting better at helping to watch his little brothers.  Both Olie and Teddy love to play board games and do so at every opportunity.  They can get their chores and schoolwork done pretty quickly if they decide they want to play a game.  Demetri is just getting too old.  His feet are the same size as mine, and he steals my socks and t-shirts.  He and Shawn went on a 7 mile hike today with the Young Men.  He really wants to go on the 50 mile hike in two weeks, but I don’t know if that will happen.

One of our new hobbies for now is watching “Little House on the Prairie” or “Mister Ed” while I go through my exercises.  Now they want to live on a farm, with snow.  I’m just happy they like my old shows.  I don’t like much of anything that is newer. They laugh hysterically at "Mister Ed."  I should record them watching it.  It's more fun to watch them than the show!

I bought a hat.  It hides my hair well, which is in serious need of help.

 I'm pretty sure out of 20 pictures there was only one with everyone looking at the camera.

 Pictures.  Other than sleeping, the only time they look like they are holding still.