26th Sept 2011
I went to the OB last week. He was a very nice man, and taught my 8 yr old a science lesson during the ultrasound. He like the kids and let them push buttons when he needed them to be pushed. Nevertheless, I won’t be going back. We got along because I kept my mouth tightly shut. The problem is that he wants to conduct prenatal care in a manner I disagree with. Like many doctors, he’s firm and convinced of the correctness of his opinion. His patients don’t have a lot of options—his word is law. It’s his perfect right to conduct his business that way, and it’s mine to choose my own style of healthcare. To many, doctors are experts, the authority, and should be consulted and obeyed. To me, they are people I hire to advise me. However, I am still the consumer, and am paying them to provide the healthcare I want. The responsibility for my health is my own. If I don’t agree with the advice given I won’t take it. Back to the midwife I go (who, incidentally, does whatever I ask—barring the crossing of moral lines, which hasn’t happened).
Life is uncertain at this point. Simply meaning that once again, we don’t know quite what we’re doing or when. I’m thankful that the gospel is a steady, unchanging conduit of light I can depend on when other things in life are unsure. In the midst of uncertainty we can still have family traditions and routines that keep our focus on what is most important.
I’m ignoring my children for the next couple of months while I try to get through this last semester. But then I’m done. And I’ll be a good mom again. I didn’t realize how much of my time it would take, and should have stuck to the one class I needed to graduate.
Still, the kids are healthy and relatively happy, and they are learning a lot about religious, political, and moral questions around the dinner table. Because that's when I talk to Shawn about what I'm studying in my classes. I'm the odd one out in every class. The extremist in every situation. I disagree with almost every other student (at least with what they write) and am avoided because of my ideas. (The problem is I don't generally disclose my ideas unless I'm in a comfortable environment but because of the nature of the online discussions, I'm forced to give and defend an opinion. I simply can't gush about how I agree with a lot of nonsensical idiocy, and I have a hard time being politically correct...so I'm just hoping to pass the class I need.) I even call my mother to ask her just how far off-base I could possibly be. I must be okay, because she usually agrees with me, and on the rare occasion that she doesn't, she at least lets me know my opinions are decent and that I'm not crazy. That means a lot...I value my mother's opinion.
You're mad at the doctor for teaching your kids a science lesson? Was it a science lesson about the sex of your baby?
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of classes do you take? Because at this school, most of the students agree on pretty much everything...
No- there was nothing wrong with the science lesson. It's the other stuff, like pelvic exams, the sheer number of ultrasounds, amniocentesis, etc. The problem I have is that a lot of the prenatal care options aren't "options." A little like the dentist who didn't consult me at all before he gave Demetri a baby root canal. I don't appreciate it when "experts" do whatever they want and tell you it's for your own good. It's funny to me that one doctor insists that a woman should have a particular procedure done and another absolutely insists the opposite is true. It's just a difference in the way they practice.
ReplyDeleteHaha, name it and I've had trouble in it. Okay, the computer basics class is fairly tame. All my science classes, morals and ethics, and even my parenting class. You might be surprised at how far apart two people studying the same gospel can get in their views.
Okay. It's official. You have the WORST luck with healthcare providers :) And also...I must just have really good luck. I get everything I want when I want it (except sometimes I can't be rescheduled to a certain time if it's too late notice). Last week I mentioned to my doctor that I would like to avoid at all costs having an episiotomy. He said that they will do everything they can to avoid one and wrote down in my file that I'd requested not having one :) I went to the dentist for some filling work and he mentioned that most people have their wisdom teeth taken out. I said that it was scary and they only hurt 4-5 months out of the year :) He said that it's totally up to me because they don't look too bad but that if I could possibly be okay with it my insurance covers it 100% and it's very expensive without coverage. Lol. I dunno Annie. I hope you move soon. Maybe you should move to where I am!! Wait...we're moving from here.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think you're weird, if it's any consolation. Haha. You are an extremist :) And that's why your views and opinions don't always mesh with all the other kids at school. But it doesn't mean that you're wrong or right about anything, nor does it mean that they are. Oh. Except that the gospel is true. You're all right about that. Cool thing is that God made us all different and we all develop and progress according to our experiences and personal revelations. How awesome is that?? Nothing wrong with being different. Or even being REALLY different. I still love you. Cuz you're my sister and I think you're pretty cool.
P.S. How did the ultra sound go???
Sorry you had a bad experience. Most doctors consider amniocentesis to be out dated and only use them in very rare incidents. I only had two ultrasounds with Victoria. One to determine how far along I really was and one to determine sex and make sure she was healthy. Jake was totally different. My doctor told me I could deliver however I wanted and she was super supportive. Like Jeri I said no cutting and they did not.
ReplyDeleteI have met with three midwives and only one of those were a good experience. The other two were so horrible I left in tears. I think so much depends on the medical provider you are seeing.
Yeah, I remember paying for my wisdom teeth surgery. The only time I've been put under in my life. Shawn said I looked like I was dying. Glad you got it done and out of the way, especially while your insurance paid for it! Thanks Jer...I think you're cool too :). The ultrasound was good, but it was too early to tell the gender. We're pretty much just planning on a boy. The doctor said I'm probably a week farther along than I thought...either that or it's another really big baby :(. So I hope I'm farther along than I think.
ReplyDeleteThe last doctor I told I didn't want to be cut said it was standard procedure and I'd have to take it up with the hospital, but it was probably a lost cause. Did you use the midwife you liked Natalie? I know one doctor I like, and would even use, but he doesn't take my insurance (of course!).