Well, on the bright side, I'm still alive.

I wrote this in list form because it’s all a little overwhelming, and lists are therapeutic.  More so when I get to check things off.

1.       1. I have a tibia evulsion fracture (not what they said in the ER), and some damaged muscles.  I was ice skating and fell.

2.       2. The ACL fractured the bone and is currently unattached, floating around in space, with a small piece of   bone on the end.

3.       3. I don’t like surgery.  I don’t want to do surgery unless it’s absolutely necessary.  The doctors said it’s just fine and poses no risk to try to let it heal naturally.

4.      4. My physical therapist says a knee is either a “coper” or not a coper.  A “coper” will develop muscle around the knee to compensate for the missing ACL.  He named a couple of NBA player names that I’m sure everyone but me recognizes, and said that they went on to play professionally without an ACL.  That was encouraging.  I decided (God-willing) that my knee is definitely a “coper.”

5.       5. Physical therapy is hard and frustrating.  The things he tells me to do seem ridiculously easy, yet my muscles will not obey me and move when I tell them to.  I feel like some of them (muscles) are not even there (go figure).  There are six exercises I’m supposed to do once an hour.  The six exercises take me about 20 minutes to go through.  I think I’m going to have to work up to this.

6.       6. I’m very blessed.  Ladies from church have helped so much- cleaning, cooking, and caring.  My husband is awesome (even if I am upset about my messy house).  He loves spending time with his kids, cooking, and doesn’t mind looking after his invalid wife.

7.       7. I can now shower, get dressed, and possibly put my shoes on by myself (note to self: buy shoes with Velcro instead of shoelaces).  I can sweep the whole living room from a sitting position on the couches, and folding laundry is a breeze.  However, it is dangerous to try to carry plates, pieces of trash, piles of laundry, or a phone while operating crutches.  Also, those trash cans you open by stepping on them- it’s a trap; it looks easy, but doesn’t work the way you’d think it would.

8.       8. All in all, all is well- or will be.  I will get better, hopefully sooner rather than later.  My kids are safe and healthy; their guardian angels work overtime.  My husband is superman.  Priesthood blessings have made all the difference to me, and I’m very happy to have the Gospel in my life.  It makes everything better.

Favorite People

My favorite people are people who have influenced me deeply, people who love me, people I want to emulate.

Today I would like to share about one of my favorite people, my mother-in-law, whom I call mom. :)  My mother-in-law has taught me a lot of things.  She has taught me about the value of appreciation- and that a little of it goes a long way.  I have observed her consistently writing notes of appreciation, usually with her own little touches—stickers, homemade cards out of pictures, homemade envelopes.  Even when she’s super busy, she still thinks of others!  When I call and say, “Whatcha doin’?” it turns out she is often baking something for someone, or making something for someone, or thinking of someone.  Really, the thank-you cards I write, the gifts I give, the few times I do happen to remember birthdays, and the letters I answer can very possibly be traced back to this lady!

Mom loves her husband, and shows him she loves him.  This is another thing I’m practicing--demonstrating love.  She cooks food he likes, she tells him how much she loves him, she hugs him, and she tells others what a wonderful man he is!  I guess I should start figuring out what food my husband likes huh!

Mom loves the gospel.  She really loves the gospel.  She loves to study the gospel, is always willing to have a discussion about principles and insights, and can frequently be seen sitting at the kitchen table studying the scriptures.  She is excited about family history.  She has been an inspiration to me, and a huge motivation!  Seeing someone you respect and love spend their precious time immersed in the gospel reemphasizes its importance.  If that is what they are concerned with, shouldn’t I be a little more involved in this as well? I think.    

Mom cares about people.  She says she doesn’t, but it shows in her actions.  She tries to please others, or at the very least to be conscious of what she says and make sure it’s considerate.  She notices things I never would…but I’m starting to now after associating with her for a while!!  Last but not least, she is fun.  She’s fun to be around, fun to talk to, fun to go shopping with, fun to do anything with.  

These are really just a few of the things I love about my mother-in-law, or that she's teaching me.  I am one of the luckiest girls in the world to have her in my life and be able to call her family :).

Happy Birthday to My Baby :)

My baby is a year old today.  It still amazes me, how much they grow and learn in just a year. 

He has been practicing his walking for several months, and can practically outrun his mom by now :).  Anytime someone leaves the screen door open (which is often around here), he tries to make his escape. 

He brings me books to read to him, which always makes me smile. 

He loves to be tickled, and he likes to play the game where he runs away from me and I chase him and either pretend to get him or tickle him, over and over. 

He has to be sung to sleep, but he usually goes to sleep in 5-10 minutes. 

Lorenzo now refuses to eat baby food.  He only wants what everyone else is eating.

In December, for his father's birthday, we discovered that he adores strawberry shortcake, so that will be his birthday cake as well.

Being outside is his favorite, followed by water (showers, pools, the sink, the ocean, whatever).

He also plays peekaboo anytime he hears a word that sounds even close to "hide," and he plays pattycake.  Sometimes clapping your hands is just more fun though, and you don't even need pattycake.  He claps for people when he's happy.

He doesn't really say much, except "hi."  He has that down, and he waves.  Recently he has started saying "bye" as well.  He knows who you are talking about when you say Mom, Dad, brother, and a few other names. 

He climbs the stairs anytime he gets the chance.  He's pretty good at it too.  And he has learned to turn around to come back down!

Still doesn't sleep through the night, but we are getting close.  It's okay; they aren't babies for very long :(. 

I love my Lorenzo.  I love to be with him every day.  I love watching him learn new things.  I love that he loves me.  Happy birthday sweet baby!

A Difficult Transition

I just threw away a coloring page from Olie's primary class, with his handwriting printed across the top.  "This is Not My Class."  In addition, his teacher told me he folded the chairs up and used them as stilts, even after asked to stop, and when he went to the restroom she could hear him screaming from the classroom.  He had a hard time with the class below him (with only two kids) being combined with his, and was convinced he was supposed to be in the senior primary with the big kids.  It was just one of those days...for a lot of people.  Shawn stayed home with sick kids, we had two teachers not show up, one unexpectedly released, and one who was called just today and had to jump right in and teach.  I'm sure she appreciated that.  But, the day is done, and everyone lived through it.  Olie wrote a letter of apology to take with him next week.  I "completed" (not a whole 24 hours) my first day of fasting in literally years, having been pregnant or nursing for, well, years. 

I have discovered that the hardest thing about being sick (second to getting out of bed in the morning) is not being able to sing.  My voice is almost completely gone, and I didn't realize how much I sing in a day.  It's really stopped me in my tracks.  It's nice to appreciate being able to sing though, knowing this is a very temporary condition.  I played the piano today instead of singing, not that my babies were okay with that in any way.

I guess I should go get a late start on New Year's goals.  We stayed up playing a game, were going to go to bed early, but the baby woke up (go fireworks!) so we watched part of my favorite movie, Bachelor Mother, until he went back to sleep.  Demetri had a gymnastics meet this weekend, and took 3rd in his level, but his coach was not very happy with how he did.  So we have some work to do over the next couple of months.  I think I'm vacillating between making new goals or survival right now :).

Dear Mrs. Skaggs: Signed, Un-Frozen in Hawaii

This (http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/movie-frozen-gay-homosexual-agenda.html) was a most interesting blog post.  Do I agree with her findings?  I don’t know.  I never thought of it that way.  In my opinion, it is a moot point, because my husband and I disliked the movie so vehemently that it is never making its way into our home anyway, and the songs are not allowed to be sung, listened to, or played on the piano. 

Allow me to explain my interest in the above blog post.  Woman voices her view on a hit movie.  Woman is vilified and demonized in almost 2000 comments that consisted of people from 4 groups. 

I’m not treating EVERY category, as there were a few odd-ball ones that stand alone, such as the lady who was upset that inter-racial couples can get married in the temple now, and a few who just wanted to rant against Mormonism/Christian or religion in general.

So, basically, there are Mormons who saw the gay allegory and appreciated her input, Mormons who thought she read way too much into a child’s movie (didn’t see it), and Mormons who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance.  Then there were the people of an undefined religious status or clearly not Mormon who didn’t see the gay allegory and appreciated her input(wait, were there any of those?), those who didn’t see the possible allegory and thought she needed to get a life (a different life than her current one apparently) , and those who saw the gay allegory but didn’t appreciate her pro-traditional marriage stance. 

It is the categories of people who make this post hilarious.  Most of the commenters were absolutely sure of themselves, the majority were not only unsympathetic but crude and (what’s the word for people who attack other people’s character because they disagree with their right to a different opinion?).  It’s one of those lose-lose situations for her.

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  No Way!  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

“You see pro-gay content in that movie?  Me too!  But you didn’t appreciate it?  I hate you; you must be a horrible person!  Get a life!”

Really?  And it’s worth the deterioration of your soul to denigrate a woman with an idea that doesn’t jive with you?  It was kind of unbelievable.  Hundreds of people sure that either the lady was or wasn’t delusional and either way she was a poor excuse for a human because of what she believed.  I guess that’s freedom of speech, but boy does freedom of speech sometimes reveal unfavorable IQ levels.  If some people can see what she’s saying, fine.  If some people can’t, okay.  The rest (comment-wise) was just a disgusting display of bullying in the name of anti-bullying or chilling out…if that’s possible.

The next post,(http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/frozen-gay-agenda-response-mormon.html#.VIloIXvSk5A), only added to the circus, but this time in her favor.  How is the saying…If one person calls you a horse, laugh at him.  If two people call you a horse, think about it.  If three people call you a horse, go buy a saddle.  Something like that.  She listed ten different links to others who had come to the same conclusion (some happy about it, some sad).  This means, in my opinion, that several hundred, if not a thousand plus people, owe Mrs. Skaggs an apology, for telling her she was delusional and reading too much into “just a story.”  Turns out, it really could be viable allegory­—as many other people saw and wrote about as well, whether intended or not, and is cause for thought and possible discussion with your children (if they watch it), as an allegory for “gay suppression”, an allegory for all circumstances in which people are “stifled” in some way (and whether that is good or bad), and above all, whether that SONG (do I have to call it a song- that used to be such a nice-sounding word!) is carrying a good or bad message. 

As you can tell, I really do not like that song.  And honestly, I tried.  I couldn’t reconcile some of the lyrics with gospel principles (no right, no wrong, no rules for me anyone?) even in context of the movie—and, my husband pointed out, the song was not always going to be seen in context.  People thought it was a great song.  Not just a “great song in the proper context.”  They don’t sing it while thinking, but really, there is a place for self-restraint, growth, God’s will instead of mine, etc.  I didn’t take to the message. 

I know, I know.  There are a great many people, many of them my friends and family, who will tell me to chill and enjoy a movie once in a while without analyzing it to death.  But, as I just talked about with one of my sisters yesterday, I see gospel principles in every-day life, in everything.  Either it works with my idea of the gospel, or it doesn’t.  Nothing, to me, is just a story.  Everything carries a message, and I want to be intentional about what messages I’m accepting.

I don't know why my husband and I took an instant dislike to the movie.  I do know why we didn't like the song.  Maybe I'm overly critical.  But if you know me very well, you will also know that there are very few newer movies I like anyway, for any variety of reasons.  My sister told me that this is my blog and I can say what I want on it.  I hope she isn't regretting that now :).

Learning to Count My Blessings

We were sick over this weekend, and I felt defeated on every front.  Not only did we not get the extra things done I would have liked for a 4 day weekend,we didn't even do Thanksgiving dinner until tonight.  From Wednesday through Saturday, I thought it was the worst Thanksgiving ever, and I was counting all the things that had gone wrong.  But when I sat down today and counted all the things that were good, they vastly outnumbered the hard things. 

My sister is going on a mission!  I was on Skype when she announced it to Mom and Dad.  It was awesome to see their faces, especially having had a conversation with them a week before about worrying and trying to find her some nice guys to date.  I said, "Whoa, I thought you were rooting for a mission, not guys right now!"  Dad said, "I don't think we've made much progress on that front."  And I just had to clamp my mouth shut.  Really tight. 

Another sister had her first baby!  I wish I was there- I love babies.  I've thought about being a doula or something occasionally, but I've never attended a birth other than my own, and I'm more than a little squeamish.  Still, I hate to miss out, and always feel like I'd like to be there helping.

On Saturday I took the children who were well enough to a birthday party.  We don't generally go to birthday parties, but I really felt like I should go to this one (which was a stressful feeling because I didn't know if I'd have any kids who were not sick!), and I was very glad we did.  Ours were the only children there for a while, and it made the little girl so happy to have other kids to play with.

We left the party early for a girl's night out I was supposed to attend.  I was upset about leaving my husband with sick children all day, and wasn't sure I should go, but he was fine, and the evening was really nice.  We decided we should do that more often and invite more friends!

Being sick is kind of miserable, but it's temporary.  The good things that happened will be much more memorable, and some are definitely more permanent. :)  We ate our Thanksgiving dinner tonight.  The kids loved it.  They pointed out all the ways we are blessed, and we had some good family time.

I took a deep breath today and sat back and watched my happy children.  They pick on each other some, but they love each other too.  I watched them play ball with the baby, delighted that he was enjoying the game.  I watched the baby take several steps at a time, happy that it was caught on camera.  He started maybe two weeks ago, but only one step and then he'd stop.  Today he really practiced.  I watched my 7 year old read a naptime story to the 2 year old, and my oldest sing him a song.  I listened to their excited chatter about the dinner, and received exuberant thanks for making a pie.  I love how they are upset if I only sing one song to them before I leave their room at night.  Little boys who love singing make me smile.  They never get tired of it, and I usually get requests for just one more. 

It was a good Thanksgiving, and I have much to be grateful for.

My Response to "Ten Things About Military Wives You Probably Don't Want to Know"

Guess what?  They already know.

http://www.merelymothers.com/2014/11/25/ten-things-military-wives-probably-dont-want-know/

I read this article this evening.   I have to say, I can't actually relate.  The only thing that I really connected with was number 7.  Now that I know it is totally normal, I will stop whining (probably) about 12 hour days and shift changes every few weeks, and sudden schedule changes that throw my day or week off completely.  And number 8--I'm beginning to feel the significance of that one...planned vacations put on hold for the 4th time, not being able to take leave because of some sort of training or random very important thing.  But mostly...I really felt like other people, single parents, people who have been TTC for a long time, some disabilities and accidents, addictions, and a whole host of other things are right up there, or a lot harder. Part of it is the line I hear all the time about how it's so tough to be a part of the military but he/she/I/we wouldn't have it any other way.  It's a choice.  Some of the other hard things in life are not choices, and a person would definitely choose to have it another way.  I really feel like being a military spouse or a military family isn't that special (bracing for the hate mail), beyond how special each of us are in our own unique ways anyway.  There are challenges that come with the lifestyle, and perks too.  It seems like every single one of those "ten things" are applicable to other life situations as well.  But while we get 30 days of paid leave a year (providing we can find time to take it) other people didn't get the leave in the first place.  While we have full medical coverage, spouse support groups, and discounted shopping to soothe our ruffled feathers at being  imposed upon, some are watching us and wishing life were this easy.

A word about the exceptions.  I do feel for homeless vets.  I think those who are hurt in service should be well taken care of.  I don't actually know how well the military does at addressing either of these issues.  I also, while I can't say I've been there or "understand", very much feel for how hard it is/would be to live with a spouse or be the spouse struggling with PTSD.  You may not go in thinking that something like that is going to happen, and I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through it.  Then again, many others struggle with that problem from events other than deployment (rape, abuse, and more than can be named here).

The point is, life is hard.  Being a military spouse is hard.  Being a single parent is hard.  Losing someone you love is hard.  Going to college while trying to support a family is hard.  Having triplets is hard. Divorce is hard.  If your life is not hard, please email me and give me some tips.  There is something to be said for developing empathy for all of the different kinds of hard.  There is also something to be said for recognizing that your military life is no harder than most civilian lives. 

I'm not actually condemning this article.  I totally whine about things that are hard for me, and much of that includes military issues.  The lady who wrote the article is perfectly within her rights to whine about the things that are hard for her.  The only issue I have is that I've been stumbling across huge numbers of posts and articles about why it's so hard to be a military spouse...seeming to imply that it's harder than being whatever-other-kind-of-spouse there is.  (Admittedly, I sometimes find the same kinds of articles about Moms-who-stay-home or Moms-who-work, with all sorts of accompanying ridiculousness in the comments section.)  So if your spouse is not in the military, know that your struggles are just as difficult.  And if your spouse is in the military, know that you are supporting something good, but your struggles are not really harder than average.  You are not more "at your limit" than any other mom, or more tired, or more picked on.  You may be at your limit, and tired, and somewhat picked on.  Who isn't?

Go ahead with the articles about military life--I just learned that one of my touchy spots is a normal part of military life.  Go ahead with the articles about staying at home, or working, or traveling, or dealing with loss.  It's good to write and get it off your chest, it may help another person get through it or feel validated, it may serve as a journal for your kids, it may make someone think, it may provide insight into something previously incomprehensible.